Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Breaking outta this hell hole....

Yup.....you read that right...I'm breaking the f-ck outta here! Been inside this f-cking house for  9 straight days without so much as a glimpse outside. Vertigo will do that to ya....hold you prisoner in your own home, I mean c'mon...being dizzy all day to the point you're falling off the toilet mid pee is bad enough...but throw in 9 whole days with the 4 little torture devices I call my kids...well that's just,simply put, INSANITY!! 
    So yeah...breaking the fuck outta this hell hole....well, at least for a couple hours...until my BFF drags me back and hurls me through the front door and I get back to regularly scheduled programming. Can you tell I don't get out all that often?? "All that often"  being the understatement of a lifetime!! There have been complete MONTHS that have passed that I didn't leave the house!! Yes, MONTHS...I am a bit of a hermit mixed with a little bit of a social anxiety ridden chick with no car to call her own and a little monster that likes to use her Sonic Screech when in public so that the old lady eating her tea biscuit on the bench in front of the Disney Store gasps in horror at how awful the parenting skills of this generation have become and  then think to herself  how her kids would NEVER have been so awful in public way back when "public" was the curtain store that was soooo flippin boring your  kids were probably half comatose...SORRY LADY...sorry my kid is so awful that she screeches instead of nicely asking me to feed her...which...by the way...can be somewhat of a hassle when you just wanna get your shit done, to stop and feed these things 3 times day a day.... c'mon...can't we just feed them like one huge meal a day like we do with the dog and save ourselves the trouble of having to clean the kitchen all day long?!?!?! Shit!
           .......So yeah....I'm movie bound tonight!!! Gonna see Bad Teacher, I believe...if we finish stuffing our faces in time to make to the theater before the start time. And believe me...when I say stuff our faces...I mean I'm gonna eat like the linebacker I resemble....at Vincents the best Italian place ever to grace the earth...I can not f-cking wait.........
   

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