I am a woman on the edge. In all seriousness. The edge.So much has been going on here... I honestly don't know how much I can handle without completely snapping... But... I want it on record...if I should go over the edge...it was NOT of my own doing. Sadie did it! Don't giggle. I wasn't kidding. I seriously think she is plotting my demise. Or at the very least...she is trying to get me sent "away". On regular days we call her Sadiesaurous...she is like a freaking T-Rex with the friggin' screeching she does...she yells at us all the time and then she'll be cool and cuddly...but lately we have been referring to her as "it". She has lost all resemblance to a 20 month old and became this creature right out of a Steven King novel. I totally get that it has been all sorts of fucked up around here and we are stressed and the kids have to be stressed by that, and I get that they need structure to strive so, understandably, I would expect for them to be on edge and acting up a little....but this is not acting up. She is crazy. The girls think she is hysterical....sooo not helping matters! Every time she screams at me in that baby jibberish you can only make out one word of...they laugh... and that just adds fuel to the fire. Her eyes light up like the fucking terminator and she sets her laser beams on me...she hit me today! Hard. Every flippin time I try to change her diaper now she flops her whole body like a dying fish and kicks me..today it was in my mouth...yesterday she head butted Caleigh who swore she broke her nose...the blood made us need to check! And she's not napping for more than 30 minutes... if at all...unless she falls asleep at like 5pm when I'm trying to get the kids fed... and then she's up for the rest of the night! Every time I try to sit at my desk and do something (check facebook) she climbs up the side of the chair..over my shoulder and onto the desk...in a second, like a fucking little spider monkey and then she stomps like fucking Godzilla all the fuck over my keyboard! And I grab her down and she does the flop and screams bloody murder and I usually get hurt! She does the dead legs and flop at the same time...like she doesn't want you to console her but yet she doesn't want you to put her down...but what she DOES want to do is make the situation as painfully obnoxious as possible....at that point all I can do is lay her on the floor and walk over her til she just gets the fuck over herself! Then she cries and cries...she even started holding her breath! The biggest problem of all is that she isn't your typical 20 month old...she's smart, real smart...being #4 does that...she has had the benefit of 3 older, active sisters and she has been like a sponge since she opened her eyes at birth. Ella is her hero..Ella used to be referred to as "El-Zilla"...notice a pattern? I have been searching for the 666 on the back of El-Zilla's neck for 7 years...it must be small print...now Sadiesaurous comes along and makes El-Zilla look like she has been standing still. When my husband called me on his way home tonight...I could barely form coherent sentences...She's out of her flippin mind..and top make matters that much more difficult...Ella is wired from going back to school ...and getting her to sit and do her math homework was sheer torture..Grace was being the goody goody constantly reitierating how Had she had homework she would have done hers right away...which is prompting Ella to get pissy with her and she starts screaming at her to "Shuuuttt UUUUpp!!" which is making me reprimand her and telling Gracie to "Knock your shit off and go read a book" Caleigh is moaning on the couch complaining of a stomach ache and insisting she's gonna puke and she"needs pepto"...and the flippin dog is running between my legs tripping me and I am screaming at the her only to realize the reason she is under my feet is because Sadiesaurous is beating her with her knotted rope toy! And she's laughing this evil little laugh. The phone is ringing..Ella "needs a drink or I will DIE"...Gracie "would finish my homework before I would ask for a drink Mommy" .....Caleigh is conducting a Symphony of Toots out in the living room and Sadie is dumping the dog's water all over the kitchen. I'm now cleaning the floor,again....Ella is "Why do we need to learn this? I HATE SCHOOL"....Grace "AJ said I was beautiful when we put away the play doh"....Caleigh is "Thir ur ur ur steee hee heee" in the living room...Jinx is eating Sadie's dinner and Sadie is scaling the cabinet in the kitchen trying to grab shit out of the sink. I am serving Caleigh...Ella is crying cuz she's hungry and I won't let her have dinner til she finishes math...Grace is putting on Cailou for Sadie...the dog is sniffing in the corner...Sadie is eating the Bird's seeds...The bird is flying across the dining room....I'm screaming "Let The Dog OUT!!" Ella is Heely-ing across the house with a pencil...Grace is letting out the dog...Caleigh needs some wipes...Sadie is tackling the bird...I am tackling her. By the time the Hubby calls my eyes are buggy...my teeth are chattering...my hair is crazy and I am drooling. "Please come home Babe, Please". "I'm on my way...what happened?" ...I seriously can not even answer him...I just need him to hurry home so he can hurry and take the girls to my sister's to shower cuz it's still not working here. I feel like there's a hidden camera somewhere and some guy with as mic is gonna jump out from a corner and tell me it's all been a joke! The last 2 1/2 weeks of our life has been one clusterfuck after another starting from back to back days with the kids shopping for school at the outlets..to working til 2am at a supermarket before the end of the world..to sleeping on a crappy couch for a week..to hauling in rain water to flush my toilets...to readjusting to getting up early for school..to packing in a hurry to move and the list goes on further than that. So by the time he gets here, I could literally cry...but he is only here briefly..to gather whomever has to shower and grab some wash I put together so he can do a load for me at my sister's. Ella and Sadie were done earlier so they stayed home with me....yay. Sadie was putting on a little show for Ella...showing her what a little brute she can really be! Kicking her toys, slapping a sleeping Caleigh...she scrunched her eyebrows and made a mad face which sends Ella into fits of laughter... and Sadie eats it up! She threw her milky bop at my head..purposely at my head..with clear intent. Then she walked across the living room and flipped any piece of furniture and toy she could! With Ella's seal of approval, of course. But I think I may have stumbled upon some kryptonite...I forced them to watch Snow White tonight. Too fluffy sweet for them and it bored them to sleep by 9:45! As soon as they were all asleep tonight, I self medicated. I feel somewhat relaxed now except for the anxiety I am getting from the Hubs telling off those golf announcers...the last thing he yelled was "Lick my balls Bitch!". Classy.
So, as I said...if anything should happen to me...it wasn't an accident.......no matter how they spin it.
